Check out the picture.
Does anyone else despise that little bar? Once that line is full, the download will be complete. Until then, you wait, ever so patiently for the information to get to you.
That's how I have felt this past week...waiting for the download to be complete.
I gotta say it. Bloggin' ain't easy.
I'm a communicator, it's what I do...and quite a bit of who I am and who God made be to be. Writing is a passion for me and one of the many ways I write is through this blog.
But the past two weeks...bloggin' has been, well...near impossible.
I pray constantly. I pray for the words I write, for the story God wants me to tell, for Him to work and move and shape and form the right pieces and parts of my day to day life. I desire for all I do to glorify God. If I don't, I'm not using the gifts, abilities and passion He gave me for the right purpose.
That said, I've been in prayer putting together a blog posting.
Has God been at work? Yes.
Can I write any of it down? No.
Has life been difficult? Yes.
Have I struggled in relationships? Yes.
Am I learning lessons as a wife, mom, home group leader, women's leader? Yes.
Is God stretching me? Yes.
Can I write any of it down? NO!
Why not?
There is simply too much.
Too much depth, too much reality, too much mess, too much heart, too much life, too much Jesus and way too much of the Holy Spirit to toss it down in a blog post...in short, I'm still downloading.
Normally, I can strain it. Filter through what I'm observing and processing in life sorting through the excess water and mud and sand to get to the valuable golden nugget. Apparently I'm also as much miner as I am writer. But, this week was a bloggin' no-go.
So, finally at the end of a pile of creative attempts to capture how God was at work I had to be honest and say, "I don't know what God is doing...but I'm going to rejoice and be confident in the fact that he's doing something."
That's when I came upon this verse:
"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."
- Romans 12:12 (NLT)
When we are in relationship with other believers, in the thick of real life drama and love and patience and complications and children and marriages and broken hearts...life is a wonderful messy disaster. And it's okay for it to be that way.
Because God is smack in the middle of it all with us, found in the moments that are both sweet and bitter.
So, that's where Jesus is working within me this week. He is in the pile of rejected posts and in this one too, where I'll reluctantly hit "publish" praying He is glorified. These are the times I wish I could paint words by numbers, just trying to plug them into the right space and order.
But that isn't what God would have for me this week. Instead he has me wait in my frustration, filling me with patience and understanding and confident in the hope He'll have something for me soon. And I'll keep on praying, waiting for that download to complete and the miner in me to get my nugget.
Yeah...bloggin' ain't easy.
H =)
P.S. I'd love to hear how Jesus is working in you, through you, around you...or all of the above.
P.S. I'd love to hear how Jesus is working in you, through you, around you...or all of the above.
Hi! Loved this! I too feel He wants me to write, but many days I just cannot find words that come close to what I feel Him speaking to me. I found encouragement that I am not alone in that. God has allowed me to go through a season of rest since February 28th, rarely leaving my couch. But in that time He has revealed so many things to me. I have begun to put it on paper but haven't brought it to the keyboard yet. Thank you for your encouragement!
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