This is Where...I Feel Safe.

I just gotta say, my husband does a great job leading our home group.

I'm a bit of an odd-ball, and I tend to get off track easily.  I love Jesus with all my heart, but He did make me a little quirky, so quirky I shall be.  I love to laugh and I can't ever be serious for longer than a half an hour at a time (and that's on a good day.)  So, you can see why my husband might have his hands full when he's leading our home group.

That being said, he does a good job laying down the law week after week.  He recites the guidelines religiously (sometimes I think it's mostly to keep me focused) but here's really why he does it: it actually makes me feel safe.

As much as I'd like to think I'm not a rule follower, and I like things to feel organic, free-spirited and spontaneous - I need those guidelines every week in group.  They might seem like inviting the "no-fun" monster to the party, but really, if the group isn't SAFE...it isn't a place where I'm free to be me anyway, and neither is anyone else.

My husband also doesn't just read off the list of guidelines, he always does it in this really cool way where he has a little conversation, he starts off each week a little something like this:

"I'm so glad you all could make it to group tonight, it's great to have everyone here.  I just want to thank you for making this a safe group, where everyone gets a chance to share.  We all have stuff God is working on, so let's try our best not to fix one another or offer too much advice, but encourage everyone to let the Holy Spirit do his job within us.  I appreciate that what is said here, stays here, we keep everything confidential and if you have an issue with something that's said or with someone in group, let's deal with it biblically and go right to the person, okay?"  

This is where everyone nods.

Then he reaches for his cell phone and says, "and let's turn off our phones, respect everyone in group and try not to cross talk.  So, who's ready to open up and pray and get into God's word?"

( Okay, so maybe that's not verbatim, but if he wants to change it he can start his own blog. =D )

There are times I've been irritated with the guidelines, I worried group would feel stale or get boring; but as he sat and went through the guidelines before group this past week, I thought about how much I've come to really appreciate that little set of rules and boundaries.  

I might joke on how the guidelines feel like the restrictive bar on a roller coaster, preventing me from feeling free to do as I feel.  The guidelines allow me to practice in good listening, in dying to myself and my own selfish desires.  They really allow people to express themselves without feeling judgement or shame or condemnation.  If they are followed appropriately, they allow for a healthy group to grow.  Plus, you gotta admit, relationships can get messy, and it's good to feel safe.


Until next week, H =D