What I Did Over My Summer Vacation...

This is where...I am reminded to celebrate and grow in my relationship with Jesus and others.

This was taken directly from the new home group curriculum:

This is Kick-Off Week.  A week to celebrate and anticipate.  Celebrate the summer, the regathering of home groups, and new members.  Anticipate the journey ahead, how God is going to be a part of lives, new depth of relationships, etc.

Reading that segment makes me feel like I'm right back at the first day of school.  

I can practically smell my new Trapper Keeper filled with a fresh ream of lined paper.   I crack open the stiff velcro of the binder and on the top of the first sheet of paper I write the title of my first assignment, entitled: "What I did over my summer vacation."

So, what did I do?  What is the theme of my essay?

Celebration of what God has done, of course, and the anticipation of new developments in the relationships in my life.

This summer I spent more time developing deeper relationships, I uncovered more about myself and I grew to love Jesus in whole new ways.

For example:  

I've been struggling with forgiveness.  I have a relationship I'm wrestling through - it's a distant relationship, and I've been processing through accepting the forgiveness I've asked for from God, and at the same time forgiving the hurt and wounds I've suffered from this distant relationship.

It's heavy on my heart now because the distant relationship, is about to be a WHOLE lot closer in a few days, and there's a good chance I will have to encounter an individual I'm not sure I'm ready to meet again.  

I've been praying through what it looks like to see this person again, stressing over how I converse and interact, processing through my responses and trying to prepare myself for what might happen.  I've talked it through with my home group gals - they have listened well, loved me well and encouraged me in the middle of my struggle.  In short, they've been amazing and safe and a precious part of this process for me.

As I read through scriptures on forgiveness again and again I found myself praying for days, and then on one glorious morning God whispered to me (as he tends to do) at the very end of Matthew 6.  

It was then I realized that it wasn't really forgiveness I was stressing over...but really I was being a worry wort.  Anticipating and protecting myself from the potential of being hurt again, and I was worrying myself into a frenzy, it was just covered up with a "battling forgiveness" front.

I no longer heard God's soft whisper, his voice was strong and confident through His word, and it spoke so loud the shackles dropped and I felt free.  

I don't know what the next few days look like now - I have no idea how I'll respond to my pressing relational circumstances, but I feel free of the burden of the worry of it, and for that I can rejoice and celebrate in God's good name and rest in his peace.  The funniest thing is that it was such a simple answer to what I thought was a deep and detailed issue.

I'm just so thankful that no matter how many responsibilities I have, how much I think I've matured and grown in my faith and walk with Jesus - God still allows me to be that little girl who just needs to crawl up in her daddy's lap.  Sometimes we just need that gentle reminder of His promises, simple and sweet and true.  

As we kick off this next home group season and I'm reminded to celebrate and anticipate what God is going to do, I can write my summer essay with confidence (and hopefully good spelling).  I'm glad to get back in the weekly groove of meeting with my church family, gathering in our homes over good food and the Word, and I'm anticipating great celebration in what God has done...and what He's about to do.  

So, this is where...I celebrate (and maybe do a happy dance.)

H =D