The Discipleship Process...Polly Pocket-Style.

This week, I got schooled by a six year old - I'm referring to it as, "Lessons by Libby."

This is Libby.

She is precious and sweet and missing a few teeth.  She is also my daughter's bestest friend.

Libby loves Polly Pockets.  This week Libby's mom spied her playing a new game.

Libby was playing, "Home Group."

Libby's parents (Josh and Cassidy) are very involved LIFERS, participating in and leading groups since Libby was a year old.  This week Cassidy and I asked Libby what her Polly Pockets were doing in their little group.  Libby said, "They are doing what mommy and daddy do - having Home Group."  

Libby's mom asked who was leading, Libby pointed out John.  (His wife Carol was unavailable for the photo.) 

Libby said John and Carol lead and host this Polly Pocket Home Group - in the backyard of their Polly Pocket home.  

I asked Libby what kinds of things to do they do in Home Group?  Do they watch cartoons together?  Sit and crochet blankets?  "No," giggled Libby, "they get together and talk about Jesus.  They want to make disciples," she smiled.  

Then she pushed her bangs out of her face and continued, "You are supposed to get together - like Jesus got together to make disciples."

And then it clicked for me.  

I'd been schooled by a six-year old.

You see at Real Life, we have entire leadership trainings on our process.  We've identified "keys to making disciples,"...it comes with a whole slide show power point presentation, trust me.

This is what we teach our leaders about the key components (everything a disciple-making group must possess): 

Four Key Elements:
     1. There is a biblical foundation.
     2. An intentional leader is present.
     3. It involves a relational environment.
     4. The process is reproducible.

Those are big fancy words to describe what a six-year old discovered by simple observation. 

Libby has been brought up in a home with parents who participate in this very process.  Libby, in her afternoon playtime, knew instinctively that she needed a leader, a nice, comfy place for people to get together and  to talk about God's word in the same method Jesus modeled.  And clearly, the process is reproducible...even Polly Pocket-Style.

The thing I love most about Libby's little lesson is the reminder that our children are watching.  Every time we choose to fight for relationship, repent and turn to Jesus, and continue to go to Home Group week after week, we are teaching our children something.  It's discipleship at it's finest. 

We get the opportunity to teach the next generation that it's not just about obeying Jesus' words, but following his methods as well.

Nice work Miss Libby.

H =D

This is Where...I Feel Safe.

I just gotta say, my husband does a great job leading our home group.

I'm a bit of an odd-ball, and I tend to get off track easily.  I love Jesus with all my heart, but He did make me a little quirky, so quirky I shall be.  I love to laugh and I can't ever be serious for longer than a half an hour at a time (and that's on a good day.)  So, you can see why my husband might have his hands full when he's leading our home group.

That being said, he does a good job laying down the law week after week.  He recites the guidelines religiously (sometimes I think it's mostly to keep me focused) but here's really why he does it: it actually makes me feel safe.

As much as I'd like to think I'm not a rule follower, and I like things to feel organic, free-spirited and spontaneous - I need those guidelines every week in group.  They might seem like inviting the "no-fun" monster to the party, but really, if the group isn't SAFE...it isn't a place where I'm free to be me anyway, and neither is anyone else.

My husband also doesn't just read off the list of guidelines, he always does it in this really cool way where he has a little conversation, he starts off each week a little something like this:

"I'm so glad you all could make it to group tonight, it's great to have everyone here.  I just want to thank you for making this a safe group, where everyone gets a chance to share.  We all have stuff God is working on, so let's try our best not to fix one another or offer too much advice, but encourage everyone to let the Holy Spirit do his job within us.  I appreciate that what is said here, stays here, we keep everything confidential and if you have an issue with something that's said or with someone in group, let's deal with it biblically and go right to the person, okay?"  

This is where everyone nods.

Then he reaches for his cell phone and says, "and let's turn off our phones, respect everyone in group and try not to cross talk.  So, who's ready to open up and pray and get into God's word?"

( Okay, so maybe that's not verbatim, but if he wants to change it he can start his own blog. =D )

There are times I've been irritated with the guidelines, I worried group would feel stale or get boring; but as he sat and went through the guidelines before group this past week, I thought about how much I've come to really appreciate that little set of rules and boundaries.  

I might joke on how the guidelines feel like the restrictive bar on a roller coaster, preventing me from feeling free to do as I feel.  The guidelines allow me to practice in good listening, in dying to myself and my own selfish desires.  They really allow people to express themselves without feeling judgement or shame or condemnation.  If they are followed appropriately, they allow for a healthy group to grow.  Plus, you gotta admit, relationships can get messy, and it's good to feel safe.


Until next week, H =D




  

Relational Superheroes...No Capes Required.

This is my daughter Katie.


She is six...and she is very good at being six, she's practically a professional.

This is a picture of the day she tried to squeeze herself into a Super Girl costume two sizes too small.  Anyone with kids knows these are things kids do.  


They try to squeeze themselves into things that don't fit because they have imaginations and aspirations bigger than they can ever accomplish.  It's part of the beauty of being a kid, right?

On this day, she wanted to be a superhero.  

She has plenty of moments where she enjoys being a mommy to babies, and bears, and puppies...but this day, this moment, she wanted to be a superhero.

Today's blog post captures the essence of heart-felt desire for relationship.  And while the cape and costume don't fit her...Katie is a Relational Superhero, because she's clothed in Jesus.

You see, Katie loves our home group.  So much she talks about it at school, with her little six year old friends.  

She's talked about it so much, she's invited people in her first grade class to our home group.  

Her little playground chats led to more discussions between kids, which led to a discussion between moms and eventually a formal invitation after school one day.  I gave directions to our host home over the shouts of her friend, a small boy jumping up and down chanting, "I want to go to home group!!"

This week, the new family joined our group, and it was all because of Katie.  

It didn't take much persuasion on her part, just excitement, honesty, compassion, and love.  She knows she has something really great and she can't keep it contained - she has good news to share and she refuses to keep it to herself.  

A new relationship is now blooming, because of one little girl who loves Jesus and her "homie group" and wants the same thing for other people in her life.  

She's just a little warrior, battling for truth, justice and the Jesus way.

This week my six-year old daughter taught me something on how to be a Relational Hero...and no capes are required...because I'm clothed in Jesus too.

Thanks for reading, catch you next week.

H =D

Relationships: Awkwardly Comfortable...

Relationship is most excellent.

For me, the first home group of the season saw several new faces, we ended up with folks ranging from ages 1 to 82.  It was fantastic!

I always think some of the first gatherings of the home group season are the best.  There's an energy that comes with the meshing of a new group.  You flub up names, feed someone's kid the wrong food, give awkward handshakes and play embarrassing ice breaker games.  

It's fun and light, and you feel out of place and comfortable all at the same time.

The new routine is hectic.  So many of us are already juggling fall sport schedules and the busy new school year.  I wonder how we'll manage Back to School Night AND home group AND feed the children something moderately nutritious.  Do you feel the same?  

So, here's a snapshot of home group last night:

We ran out the door after a dinner of corndogs and peaches, I'm pretty sure both of the kids were wearing shoes, and the spelling list got a good once-over before tomorrow morning's test at school.

I'm laying down the rules in the car to the kiddos during the entire drive to group:

"No food downstairs, no wrestling, no jumping on the furniture, and don't forget to smile and welcome the new kids!"

We pull up to our host home, and the kids run into the house, throwing open their front door before I'm fully out of the car.  They're just as excited as we are for home group to start again.

People begin filing in, right on time.  Some appear overwhelmed by the children scrambling in the driveway, others just toss their kids into the mix.

Coffee is brewing, napkins and cookies of chocolatey goodness await.

Timid questions are asked, answers are short and sweet, laughter is easy.

We start with prayer and "get to know you" questions.

People are asked to share about the one thing they always have with them, the thing that means the most.  Answers are different and surprising, and I find most people value their marriages, their children, and someone can have a deep and meaningful relationship with... chapstick.

We vision why we're here and what we're about and we talk about what's to come over the next few weeks.

Different parents head downstairs throughout the evening to calm squealing children, or kiss a carpet-burned knee.  

The adults talk about group guidelines - we want our group to be a safe place to share our lives with one another.

Someone repeats the "No wrestling" rule to the children.

Everyone is excited for new friendships, accountability, and just learning how to live life together and walk with Jesus.  

Children scramble upstairs and are covered in cookie crumbs as the coffee flows and conversations continue long past bedtime.

We dig through piles of socks and shoes, not even sure we have the right match, with promises to bring them back next week if we've grabbed the wrong pair.

We hug and say goodnight, kiddos are sad to part with friends new and old.

We head off to our respective homes, windows rolled down, children clamoring in their car seats,  hollering "good night- talk to you tomorrow!"

It's chaotic, crazy and loud...and just...home group.

And we can't wait to do it all again next week.

Relationship is most excellent.

What I Did Over My Summer Vacation...

This is where...I am reminded to celebrate and grow in my relationship with Jesus and others.

This was taken directly from the new home group curriculum:

This is Kick-Off Week.  A week to celebrate and anticipate.  Celebrate the summer, the regathering of home groups, and new members.  Anticipate the journey ahead, how God is going to be a part of lives, new depth of relationships, etc.

Reading that segment makes me feel like I'm right back at the first day of school.  

I can practically smell my new Trapper Keeper filled with a fresh ream of lined paper.   I crack open the stiff velcro of the binder and on the top of the first sheet of paper I write the title of my first assignment, entitled: "What I did over my summer vacation."

So, what did I do?  What is the theme of my essay?

Celebration of what God has done, of course, and the anticipation of new developments in the relationships in my life.

This summer I spent more time developing deeper relationships, I uncovered more about myself and I grew to love Jesus in whole new ways.

For example:  

I've been struggling with forgiveness.  I have a relationship I'm wrestling through - it's a distant relationship, and I've been processing through accepting the forgiveness I've asked for from God, and at the same time forgiving the hurt and wounds I've suffered from this distant relationship.

It's heavy on my heart now because the distant relationship, is about to be a WHOLE lot closer in a few days, and there's a good chance I will have to encounter an individual I'm not sure I'm ready to meet again.  

I've been praying through what it looks like to see this person again, stressing over how I converse and interact, processing through my responses and trying to prepare myself for what might happen.  I've talked it through with my home group gals - they have listened well, loved me well and encouraged me in the middle of my struggle.  In short, they've been amazing and safe and a precious part of this process for me.

As I read through scriptures on forgiveness again and again I found myself praying for days, and then on one glorious morning God whispered to me (as he tends to do) at the very end of Matthew 6.  

It was then I realized that it wasn't really forgiveness I was stressing over...but really I was being a worry wort.  Anticipating and protecting myself from the potential of being hurt again, and I was worrying myself into a frenzy, it was just covered up with a "battling forgiveness" front.

I no longer heard God's soft whisper, his voice was strong and confident through His word, and it spoke so loud the shackles dropped and I felt free.  

I don't know what the next few days look like now - I have no idea how I'll respond to my pressing relational circumstances, but I feel free of the burden of the worry of it, and for that I can rejoice and celebrate in God's good name and rest in his peace.  The funniest thing is that it was such a simple answer to what I thought was a deep and detailed issue.

I'm just so thankful that no matter how many responsibilities I have, how much I think I've matured and grown in my faith and walk with Jesus - God still allows me to be that little girl who just needs to crawl up in her daddy's lap.  Sometimes we just need that gentle reminder of His promises, simple and sweet and true.  

As we kick off this next home group season and I'm reminded to celebrate and anticipate what God is going to do, I can write my summer essay with confidence (and hopefully good spelling).  I'm glad to get back in the weekly groove of meeting with my church family, gathering in our homes over good food and the Word, and I'm anticipating great celebration in what God has done...and what He's about to do.  

So, this is where...I celebrate (and maybe do a happy dance.)

H =D

Walking the Prayer Talk

**I posted this story a few weeks ago on our webpage: http://www.reallifeministries.com/current-stories#prayerwalk

I have a confession to make: Praying with complete strangers is not an environment I jump into head first. 

In fact, praying out loud in general can still get my heart palpitating a bit with anxiety…worrying I’ll say the wrong thing.  We started attending Real Life as baby Christians in 2004, and it took me two years before I finally would pray out loud with friends at home group, let alone praying in front of complete strangers.   

But this past weekend, I was asked to help lead a small group of individuals on the Prayer Walk.  Even now, thinking of experiencing my private prayer time with new people still sets me on edge, and I feel self-conscious.  We had prayer walkers all over campus during all five services, and I ended up volunteering for the 10:00am service on Sunday morning.

The Upper Room of RLM 1 had a scattering of 20 people, Will Hoffman and Kevin Howard were welcoming and engaging, setting the scene for what our morning prayer journey would entail.  I picked a seat in the back, kind of hoping I wouldn’t be picked on to do too much too fast out of my comfort zone.   

We opened up with a brief discussion on the passage of Acts 2:42-47; how the believers in the early church were devoted to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  One point stuck with me throughout the discussion, the comment was, “When I pray with someone, I begin to know them on a whole new level, I know more of their relationship with God and I experience relationship with that individual in a deeper way.”

I took that statement to heart, and was introduced to Melissa, Dale and Becky.  Three people I had seen around church, but had never formally met and whose names I didn’t know.  We were each handed a booklet, containing information on all of the ministries on campus, a map, and verses to read through at each location.

We started simple and awkward, joining together in the Elder Room upstairs, praying over the elders, staff and leaders of our church.  Soon we moved downstairs and prayed over everything from the nursery rooms, to the people in service and connecting the people to relationships in small groups.  As we prayed we could hear Jim beginning the service praying at the same time, with thousands of others. In the midst of last minute stragglers, visitors chatting in the lobby and folks rocking fussy babies, the Holy Spirit moved and soon the four of us were praying for more and more ministry needs.

We moved outside and prayed over the Youth Ministries, and all of the events that happen in the smaller auditorium.  The hour flew by and we finished our time sitting together at a picnic table in front of our newest campus addition, RLM 3.  By the end of the hour I found I had experienced four things:

1.  Prayer is unifying. Even though the three of us were in different seasons of life, and heavily involved in different ministries, we are all on the same mission.  We are striving to reach the world for Jesus, one person at a time, we want to make biblical disciples of Jesus and we are going to do it in relational environments.

2. God hears us.  Despite the chaos of the morning, people moving about, tv’s blaring in the lobby, fussy children, and thousands of other’s praying at the same moment – He hears us.  Every word, every thought, every condition of the heart is His to experience and walk through with us. 

3. We can hear God.  Again, with every distraction going on around us, the Holy Spirit was able to work among us, and as our hearts softened, the words poured forth.  There was no repetition of requests and the verbiage flowed specifically for every ministry.

4. Prayer makes friends out of strangers.  There is something about joining with our siblings in Christ, taking courage to open our hearts and together bring our prayers and petitions to our Heavenly Father. 

I began my morning a little anxious, mustering up the confidence to open up my private prayer relationship with my Father to others…and by the end God had given me a new experience to draw from, spurring me on to courageously move forward in ways I don’t always feel comfortable. 

The prayer walk brochure is attached here.  Feel free to look through it and take your own prayer walk, but consider taking someone with you.  Try reading through it with your home group and pray over it together, refer to it throughout the year, and we urge you to continue to mature in your prayer life with the Father and your relationships with others.

Resurrection Wednesday

I went for an early morning walk and ideas of blog posts were jogging in my head...I prefer the ideas frolic through my noggin, instead of physically jogging.  It's a lot easier on my joints.

My thoughts were very busy on new blogging ideas - to the point I actually contemplated starting up a new blog for the church.  And then I remembered...we already have a blog!

So, welcome to Resurrection Wednesday- where I'm breathing new life into an old blog.  

I've got ideas for win stories, I want to share home group activities and discussions, and really talk about what God is doing at Real Life as we continue to develop as disciples of Jesus.  

Let me know what you think you'd like to see in a blog from Real Life, those frolicking ideas of mine need friends, you know.  

So, stay tuned LIFERS - we've got good stuff coming your way!

Thanks!

H =D